vipassana, enlightenment? PHYSICS!?!?!

I dont know how to even phrase it now, have i begun of am i finishing? and this is a tragedy of colonization, so many of us lost the old ways.

first a brief history of what meditation is and a few of its different forms

MEDITATION:

meditation is not actually well understood. to meditate is effectively to sit with yourself. if you have managed to ever “clear your mind” then u are a better mediator than me.

the point of most meditation is to not anchor on ur thoughts. to accept their impermanence.

there are many kinds of meditations. there are as many forms of meditations as martial arts. martial arts of the old countries are a form of meditation. to discipline the mind to be able to navigate the defense of the body is a form of meditation.

we see the branching of the hindu religion that was Sanskrit based when the language was controlled by priests. at that point Hinduism became inaccessible to the common person. when a religion branches like that the controlled portions become a form of cult. this is because they want to go from a religion of peace to controlling free will.

this branching in hinduism results in two religions forming. sikhism and Buddhism. sikhism grew in a region of india that was the inlet into the peninsula. therefore there are natural political threats and it was the language of farmers who would have to defend their lands from natural predators and often invasions.

this regional eccentricity made the sikhs natural defenders and grow into specializations of martial arts. the original sikh martial art of gatka, combined a version of meditation with physical defense that was so lethal the british banned it. however warriors moved around from martial arts temple to martial arts temple so gatka ended up in china where kung fu was added to it and re-emerges as a combined martial art called karate.

karate is a physical defense art. however kata art actually teaches war strategy. it is a form of meditation. the primary objective of all martial arts is to never use them.

most only engage in meditation and learning.

the bhuddist branches focused on the meditative practices of hinduism. the eccentric thing about old cultures is you get apprentices. people who specialize in things and keep testing the edges. eventually bhuddism gives rise to the meditation practice of vipassana.

this was also lost many centuries ago. ashoka the great, was a practitioner and he wanted to share the knowledge. so he sent some monks to modern day bhutan. that is where the art was practiced until a few decades ago. this is now spreading in most countries.

it is the most powerful form of therapy. it is my argument after having done it a few times that bhuddism is the religion of physics. the original upnishads of hinduism are actually physics books. due to the conflation of its spiritual effects and the lost language of sanskrit this became a “religion”.

how do i know?

Lets look at how we discover things at the edges of science.

2019-

i had, for once, been paid to work in sustainability and cleantech. i have one rule at work- i dont commit crimes. i cant. but everyone else loves to commit crimes. this is how i lose all my jobs.

“dont commit crime”

“ur fired”

so i thought i was headed for entrepreneurship because i could control not committing crime. i was in my late 30s and all my friends were in therapy. some were in multiple. i thought i was pretty happy but i thought maybe my environment is reflecting something about me that i am not addressing.

in addition i am an artist. i paint. and i am very aware that we paint and create in the emotional state we are in.

since i study alot of entrepreneurship and i am a lil smart, i was super scared i would become a super villan. i had a hard boundary DO NOT create a facebook.

so after doing all my work in canada for my company i knew i had to go to india. but i wanted to do therapy first. just in case i was traumatized and didnt know. in addition i had no money. and i wanted to be de-traumatized FAST.

So asked people who were super traumatized what they had tried and if it worked. 3 people mentioned vipassana. with the following warning:

its really hard, if you are traumatized it will come out, it will hurt

it comes as no surprise to anyone that knows my that my reaction was

SIGN ME UP

so in december of 2019 i was super excited to find my trauma. i got to the center and observed all their precepts very strictly. by the 3rd day i had no trauma. to my annoyance the only thing my 12 hr mediation revealed is that i LOVED- apparently alot, the songs in Dilwale Dulhaniya lejaige.

specifically:

for hrs srk and kajol were singing to each other and no trauma came. i was very disappointment, i had been hoping to nip this in the bud. i understand that i have no really reason to be traumatized. i was just super excited i could be.

on the 3rd day i experienced something i can only describe as feeling Brownian motion. and i regretted deeply not reading a physics book before i came.

it was the most interesting experience of my life. i will not explain it, because if you want to go my explanation will alter ur experience.

suffice it to say that at the conclusion of 10 days, we broke our oath of silence. and i have hyper focus. as my brain acted like a sponge reabsorbing the noises we have grown so accustomed to drown our own sound with, i could not read a paragraph in 2 hrs.

i could not talk for more than a few min. it took a full day to re-acclimatize to normal life. until this time i have had a fairly short fuse. i dont take any bs from anyone. i see no reason to internalize someone elses bad behavior without telling them they r behaving badly. they can deal with the emotional damages. i dont feel bad.

why should i be polite when you are politely being an ass?

this holds for everyone except my father. i always try to not react. he is a vet and my father. he can yell at me because he is doing it in love. (im brown but i think we all know when we got a dad like this).

we were sitting on the couches having tea. and he said something, and i was about to say something when i was caught off guard. i felt heat rise from my neck. and i stopped cold.

it was humbling to learn how out of our own logic our reactions can be. we operate 100% on muscle memory. the first trip to vipassana alerted me that even i, who took so much care to be rational was so a function of my innate muscle memory that i started to pay attention to it all the time.

2022

i had some tough times in edmonton. i have zero shame in admitting it. i am very pro healthy mental health. so i thought, i wasnt traumatized before but just incase i should get rid of the cobwebs.

i went again.

i dont know if i regret it or not yet but i had the most unexpected experience i could. it was much later that someone indicated to me i had opened my 3rd eye. or as you may know activated a more conscious interaction with my pituitary glad.

i confess it was extremely scary.

i have alot of neurodivergence. and i am mathematical about my behavior and i would classify physics as my primary language. i was in my office and i had some equations i was working on. as i looked at them i had a “sensation” response. i felt the first equation solve in my stomach. then i felt the derivative solve.

then at 1300hrs i RAN to the liquor store. got a wine. poured myself a very large glass. ran into my courtyard can called my hippie teacher, who was also very gravely troubled that i was empathic.

there i was, on a bench, wine in one hand, phone in the other, CRYING for the first time in like 10 years-

“i feel math solving”

and my teachers advice was

“stop doing math”

so i wailed louder. by the time i put the phone down and finished the half glass of wine i realized i made a grave error. the alcohol made the math solving LOUDER.

So i went to the weed store.

the next few days i did not leave the house. i had to solve why the math was solving in my stomach. i hid my shame from the doctor. i had no idea what was going on and i do not trust anyone with that statement.

so i began researching it.

if there is one thing you do not want to do- it is accidentally opening your 3rd eye while trying to get rid of trauma you dont have. especially in white country where no one knows wtf is going on.

What is a soul?

that was the question. i did not even know how to articulate it. luckily my family is theologians. so we had a copy of the upnishands at home. so i began to refer to that and started learning more quantum physics.

there is one known equation:

while we do not think of it in relation to the human experience, it falls to reason that if electrons are phasing in and out of state, from matter to energy, that energy state would be cohesive in some way.

it would have to be quantum entangled to itself. somehow.

therefore i have begun to conclude that each person has a quantumly entangled energy state, that state is commonly referred to as a soul. or one unit of consciousness.

each unit of consiousness experiences life individually. it also communicates to others and itself. there must be a gravitational component that makes one unit of consciousness distinct.

however we talk to each other. like is attracted to like. in addition we are electro-bio-chemical in nature. We communicate in the matter state in EM waves. language is only a facilitator.

in the words of oden. the hammer is only to focus your power. language is only to give precision to communication.

thus we conclude

therefore the loss of a large scale of organic life would create a disharmony in the natural harmonic frequency of the field of consciousness

which is ohm.

Returning to edmonton, that is what i felt.

In addition i felt all the isolating effects that students are speaking of. i was not emotionally as impacted because i generally prefer being alone. however i am not disconnected from the field of consciousness. my fav activity is to go people watching.

i just dont like talking to people because i find them generally uninteresting.

however the matter was very significant because not only is it important to discharge the em pulse of communication, if it dosent leave you it builds up and causes a form of an em seizure. this is similar to what autistic people experience. but everyone is experiencing it because we are being isolated in our own em pulses by the WiFi that is ever present.

i needed a creative way to discharge that toxic pulse. so i used social media. if someone was rude to me and i was unable to find the right english to explain it, i was obviously unable to communicate naturally via the em range. so i went on social media and fought bots.

i played with language patterns. sometimes i would be in a place where i would have a bad day. i would go on social media and be depressed. my intention was to discharge the communication.

that went badly.

eventually i needed a healthy Em field from which to re-calibrate. in addition my safety was compromised from some advocacy work i was doing so i moved in with my parents.

it created a form of a microEm Field.

this might also explain why everyone got polarized during COVID. people are not close to their families. people are close to their friends. being forced into isolation with people whom we do not talk to and having to reconcile living that way gave those who do not resolve conflict a form of Stockholm syndrome.

this created the worst social condition in which to release LLms designed by using toxic tweets and social media language that was already damaging.

I am now fully chill. the recommendation i have is not to accidentally open your 3rd eye. this is a very bad idea.

in addition physics is lit.