To: Ta Nashi Coates

re: Reparations

Dear Sir

I hate you. I do not recall which of your books i read first, i was in Toronto, and all i remember is that once i read one, i was compelled to devour them all.

u forced me to look into my own past, a crime for which i will never forgive you. it was ur essay on reparations- u annihilated me. i was against it- and i wanted to debate you. u wiped the floor with me.

and thus begins my own reparations to myself

fuck u. and ur writing, and ur mother fucking truth. u made me want to be Killmonger- for all i will ever be in this fucking white mans world is a woman.

i offer you, the only consideration i can. distinguish the next time the definition of reparations for you sir- r a man.

what of me? i have no ancestors who could jump from the ships, the mothers of my mothers were chained and raped. what reparations of money can you offer my ancestors- who paid with the price of their womb?

the white mans world now justifies not only the rape of my kind, they have taken all our children. where the fuck r u? is there a man, any man who now stands to protect the body of the earth that gave it life. is there anyone deserving. sir fucking take the money- give us life.

from india to africa which sister did they not take? which brother now stands as we man the fucking border of defense? atleast he died of his own convictions. from rawanda to punjab- which wakanda can i take? give me sanctuary? give me a dignified death- i will repay the debt in another kind of life.

yours

a sister