Tdot- i cant wait to come back!!

i think in life you always have to make the irrational decision. the emotional one. i make this statement after a long life of “hmmm what now?”

i wanted to come back home and stay near my parents. i always wanted to stay close to home but i thought id build my career first. so after leaving my hometown in 2006- i decided to come back during COVID.

alas- covid- the civilizational autocorrect. we all did wierd shit in covid. ppl who were married got divorced. divorced people got married. dogs were adopted only to be returned and fucking sourdough bread showed up everywhere.

but in the middle of all this for many of us was the vein of family. there was the over shadowing, overwhelming feeling that multi-generational families had- im staying with you. we fought, we cried, we smoked pot and we lied. we did what we had to do.

we got cerb. so we tried to find people who were in more need so we could give some away. we made food in our kitchens and hoped to feed those who had less than us. it was this oddly human moment when u found humanity where you never thought to look.

so call me foolish. i loved anne of green gables. so i bought it in hollyrood. i loved it. it loved me. but alas no fantasy stays romantic forever.

the time has come for me to accept that sometimes when u try, and u try ur best, that is not good enough for others. sometimes there is no answer and there is no real meaning to why it didnt work so let it go.

i wish everyone who was a part of my journey happy, healthy and wonderful lives. i hope you find fulfillment in ur hearts and love in ur homes and communities.

i am a gypsy. i like carrying a backpack and parking it somewhere for a few years. Edmonton taught me the value of traveling light. i always wanted to walk out of a place with nothing much more than the clothes on my back. so i did. i left my house almost with everything in it. walked out in the night.

the reasons are irrelevant. the choice was mine. ultimately that is where the magic lies.

whatever the world has next in store for me, i burned every bridge that would try to bring me back here. i broke every friendship that told me that i was wrong for wanting my due. friends are easy. but u only get one of u. so when no one else takes care of that person- edmonton taught me how to do that too.

sometimes its dangerous to live in a romanticized past. so im glad i took the time to remove the fantasy and see it for what it really was. and this town is amazing for alot of people. alot of people love it here. i just think i didnt want to accept that i outgrew it a long time ago.

ill sneak out again this time. i like an irish gbye myself. i leave etown with more experienced people than my ideas. have a wonderful future. i hope for nothing but the best- i was born here.