I admit- im nuts. I made it all up. thats y i never collected the proof. the proof that was so forthcoming. its always there -enough. i just didnt want the evidence. the proof that they always need, and i never seem to be smart enough to have.
i did it. i was bored. i wanted an adventure story that had not been told before. it was fantastical. they never targeted me. they never tried to get rid of me, from my jobs, from the spaces in which i became uncomfortable. until finally there came a day when i imagined that they wondered- if she wont behave, maybe we can cut her open and see what's on the inside. i thought it would be funny if they thought if they could engineer my suicide.
it never happened. they never stole my money. they never tortured me when i begged them to stop. i just thought it would make a cool story. i did it to myself. i wanted the attention. i love the attention. i love it when they point at me and tell me im defective. i love it when they try to fix me because they feel so bad.
they never did illegal surveillance on me. they never tapped my phones, my computers or my families devices. i just like feeling special. they never used private moments in which i was just being myself to manipulate me however they wanted. i wanted to feel like someone was in love with me. i wanted to be manipulated. it made me feel so nice to feel like…
